Review of The Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit

I think that the Chicken Biscuit's only available for breakfast, but don't quote me on that since I've never tried ordering one at any other time than in the morning. They might be available whenever Chick-fil-A is open--so you can quote me saying that you will never get a Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit on Sunday because the guy who started Chick-fil-A is big into Jesus and no Chick-fil-A is open on God's day. I'm a pretty big guy and I can't eat 2 of these things. I mean I could do it; I have done it; but I never felt good after the fact. This morning I had exactly 1 Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit and a cup of coffee and that was a pretty good breakfast. The biscuit part of the Chicken Biscuit is a little crispy on the outside. You know that whatever the dough recipe is in the factory where these things are pumped out it's filled with butter and probably lard or crisco too, cause that's what gives the biscuit this texture. They're more crumbly than flaky, and because of this I don't think I'd want to have the biscuit by itself, or even smothered with country gravy. For that you want soft, pillowy biscuits, the kind of biscuit that cleaves easily when you sink the blunt side of a fork into it. But for this sandwhich, the crumbly biscuit works fine, unless you're driving (and I cannot remember a time when I had a chicken biscuit and I was not driving) because then the biscuit crumbs get all over your shirt and pants, and there's so much grease that these crumbs will spot your clothing not unlike potato chips will spot a brown paper bag should you dump them into a brown paper bag for whatever reason. I saw that on a commercial once, one that I think was advertizing less greasy potato chips. The chick part of the chicken biscuit is pretty good, pretty standard fried chicken, pieced together white meat. A big difference here though when it comes to the white meat chick is that it has the right texture of unprocessed white meat chicken. t's not like, for example, the Chicken McNuggets at McDonald's. Those things are completely unnatural; you can't tell where the nugget part might have come from. There's no striation to the meat; it's just been ground up and pressed into the nugget shape. The chicken at Chick-fil-A still has the strings of meat that made up the breast muscle of the chicken this meat came from, so it feels like you're eating a real chicken. The coffee, also, was pretty good.

I've got this excerpt from a nonfiction book I've been working on for a year and a half up at Anomalous Press right now. I'm really glad that Anomalous decided to publish the excerpt. I'm really happy that everyone who has accepted or already published excerpts did so: Pear Noir!, The Collagist, Continent, Everyday Genius, Freerange Nonfiction, HobbleCreek Review, Sleepingfish, and Used Furniture Review. I'm happy that they've published these excerpts because I don't have much hope that the book will ever actually be in print. Well, I mean, I doubt that a major New York City publisher will take a chance on this manuscript. I will--fingers crossed--find a small press or specialty publisher for it if all else fails. 

I don't think New York would take a chance on the book because it's about California. Despite that state being the largest (in population) among our 50, New York often doesn't seem to acknowledge the West Coast's existence. On top of that the book is somewhat experimental--go figure. It's not too out there, but it blends memoir, history, pop culture, and critique of Catholicism. It's written as a kind of pastiche. All of these elements combined mean (to an agent): no dice. 

That is complete bullshit. I'm complaining and i haven't eve sent the book out anywhere yet. But this is my feeling, what my gut tells me.  New York doesn't give a shit about literature. It cares about the dollar. so I'm really pleased with those editors who have seen the merit of this book, or at least in the excerpts from it that I sent their way. They at least do give a shit. Wah, I'm a whiny little bitch.